I absolutely hate

I absolutely hate how my best friend from high school only talks to me to ask me to borrow shoes. Since August when my best friend Caroline and I started going to different colleges it has been like she doesn't even know me. To be honest I'm not sure if I know her either. The girl I see on facebook dressing slutty, breaking up with her boyfriend of a year and the " sorority sister" , is  not the girl I love. She used to be the person I told everything now I doubt she"ll ever know the name of my first child. Caroline meant the world to me if someone laughed at her or did something against her believe me I gave them hell to pay. I thought she would always be there but things change. Love doesn't last forever. People grow apart.

according to Erica

If I had supper hero powers....
I would have the power to fix anything broken, I would be able to fly and I would be able to point and poof things from anywhere like a witch. I would only use my powers for good like a pageant princess running for Miss. USA. I would help to change world hunger by poofing in rice to third world countries. I would fly all over so I wouldn't have to use gas. I would wear a pink cape and a large crystal tiara. I would be called princess goody.

my mother

My mama often says I never do anything about her so this mama is to you.

Only a strong woman could single handily raised a child like me alone. My mother taught me everything I know, this is a fact because she was the only person that ever taught me anything. My dad left when I was little I don't remember a lot about it or atleast I try not to. He was around but we didnt really have a brilliant relationship. My mother to me is an amazing person she made sure I got the best education, the best clothing and the best experiances. I had a beautiful room full of toys I was my mama's princess, her baby, her everything. She pushed me to do everything the best I could. Sometimes I would get mad but she'd still be my best friend. She still is my best friend. No matter what happens my mamas always the first person I call. I love her as much as she loves me even though she sometimes can't see it.

I love you mama

I don't know what to blog about

So I don't know what to blog about so I'm just going to blog about how I feel right now. Right now I feel like tears are going to seep out at any time. I'm not sure why sometimes I just feel like this. Its like sadness over takes me and I can't breath. Some people may say its hormones or depression. I like to think that sometimes people go through so much that it builds up and it just all comes out at once. Sitting at work and holding back tears is hard but hopefully I will make it to twelve before the tears flow. Hopefully after I will feel refreshed, renewed, cleansed, or maybe I'll just feel slightly better.

I'm writing this blog but I should be...

I should be checking out customers, because I'm at work. My step dad owns the xpress lube where I work so I wont get in trouble. Although working and doing home work probably isn't the best idea I have to get it done so there it is. Working and going to school is more then hard its exhausting but I know its more than worth it. Its a part of growing up. Especially since I can't buy that new cute shirt I found if I don't work and make some money because we all know in this day and age you can depend on a husband to grant your every wish. Who would want to anyways?

In january I was...

 In January I was turning 18 I was coming out of a bad relationship and couldn't drive. It was my senior year of high school and I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I thought at that time that I wanted to be a  pre-school teacher. At the time I thought I needed to "find myself" I didn't realize I needed "create myself". I thought that one day I would just run into my self do what I wanted and that would be it.  I didn't realize that I made thousands of choices a day from what I wore to who I talked to. That I could be or do whatever I wanted to, not because I'm that great but because in life you get what you put in. Not to say that if you sit on the couch and wish for a thousand dollars it will show up but if you work for really hard it might just come about. I decided that I was going to change my life and I changed what I wanted to be to who I wanted to date and how I was going to act. I found that whoever I wanted to be I could be.

"sometimes life takes funny twist and turns"

Sometimes life takes some funny twist and turns like my best friend Chase and I. We had been best friends for five years when we decided to date. See when I was fifteen Chase introduced me to a guy named "J".  "J" and I dated for two years and endured a very toxic relationship. A few months after me and "J" broke up, Chase told me how he had always felt, that he liked me not because I was pretty but because I was different. He said he didn't care if was perfect everyday because he liked me for me. I know all of this sounds like the "mushy romantic fake" love story but to me and Chase its all true. Chase showed me that being me was okay because he liked me for real reasons not because of how I look or act.