I'm writing this blog but I should be...

I should be checking out customers, because I'm at work. My step dad owns the xpress lube where I work so I wont get in trouble. Although working and doing home work probably isn't the best idea I have to get it done so there it is. Working and going to school is more then hard its exhausting but I know its more than worth it. Its a part of growing up. Especially since I can't buy that new cute shirt I found if I don't work and make some money because we all know in this day and age you can depend on a husband to grant your every wish. Who would want to anyways?

In january I was...

 In January I was turning 18 I was coming out of a bad relationship and couldn't drive. It was my senior year of high school and I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I thought at that time that I wanted to be a  pre-school teacher. At the time I thought I needed to "find myself" I didn't realize I needed "create myself". I thought that one day I would just run into my self do what I wanted and that would be it.  I didn't realize that I made thousands of choices a day from what I wore to who I talked to. That I could be or do whatever I wanted to, not because I'm that great but because in life you get what you put in. Not to say that if you sit on the couch and wish for a thousand dollars it will show up but if you work for really hard it might just come about. I decided that I was going to change my life and I changed what I wanted to be to who I wanted to date and how I was going to act. I found that whoever I wanted to be I could be.

"sometimes life takes funny twist and turns"

Sometimes life takes some funny twist and turns like my best friend Chase and I. We had been best friends for five years when we decided to date. See when I was fifteen Chase introduced me to a guy named "J".  "J" and I dated for two years and endured a very toxic relationship. A few months after me and "J" broke up, Chase told me how he had always felt, that he liked me not because I was pretty but because I was different. He said he didn't care if was perfect everyday because he liked me for me. I know all of this sounds like the "mushy romantic fake" love story but to me and Chase its all true. Chase showed me that being me was okay because he liked me for real reasons not because of how I look or act.

sometimes I feel like...

Sometimes I feel like I never grew up. When I see other people the same age as me I instinctivly do not feel my age. I tend to always feel younger even when I'm with others the exact age as me. Maybe its the way they carry themselves? Or the fact that I have always gone to a private school and only fit in there  because no one else fit in either ? At my high school we were all mis fits in our own way. Sure there were popular kids but even they were misfits in there own way as I see it. Back from that side note I'm not sure why I feel that everyone is older, cooler, and knows more. After all were equal in the sense of age so how could it be that they are somehow wiser. Perhaps one day I'll feel as old as them or maybe I'm just young at heart.